topik menangis!

ada satu topik yang berapa kali sebut pun, dengan mudah air mata ni mesti akan mengalir. Kalau tak dikawal, tersedu-sedu lah jadinya.
topik itu bermula dengan soalan:

"apa akan jadi dengan win kalau wan pergi dulu?" (<<<-- "pergi" membawa maksud "mati")

secara berseloroh dia sentiasa suruh hidup ni diteruskan seperti biasa, cadangannya supaya kahwin aje dengan orang lain dan berbahagialah.
tapi, cadangannya sentiasa ditolak, dengan alasan, mana mungkin dia diganti dengan orang lain?? gila??

topik ini hanya berlalu begitu sahaja tanpa jawapan memandangkan air mata tidak lagi bergenang tetapi telah tumpah sehabis-habisnya.!

remembering birth dates!

i went to my darling's office just now to hv lunch together. among other topics that we talked about, i mentioned that today is my ex boyfriend's birthday. he then asked, why is it that u still remember his birthdate?. i simply answered, once before, that date was the important date that i had to remember. so now the date kinda stuck in my head although i tried hard to not remember it. then i asked, don't u still remember ur ex girlfriend's birthdate? he said, i don't anymore.

maybe he is in denial, or maybe he really has forgotten that date. i don't know.but why is it that i still remember it?

anxiety attack?

Symptoms of an anxiety attack include:

Surge of overwhelming panic Feeling of losing control or going crazy Heart palpitations or chest pain Feeling like you’re going to pass out Trouble breathing or choking sensation

Hyperventilation Hot flashes or chills Trembling or shaking Nausea or stomach cramps Feeling detached or unreal

I need to calm down. Fish makes me calm. I'll watch they swim. :-)

tolak kerja.

this PHENOMENON is everywhere.
recently it happened to me and the worse thing about it is: i am the one who tolak kerja to another person.

there was this meeting that i have to attend short noticed. i came to have knowledge about it at 7.30am and it was scheduled to be at 2.30pm. Since it was an order from boss, so i decided to start the day by:
1. finishing yesterday's work, then
2. meet boss for approval of yesterday's work, then
3. start to prepare for that meeting (read through the file etc.).

task 1 and 2 completed by 9am.

so i started to do task 3. but seriously i was not feeling very well from last night but i came to office anyway just so dat i can complete task 1 and 2. when i met boss that morning, i planned to ask him to let me go for half day since i was not well. but before i could say that he started to shower me with "do this, say that and don't mention this or that in meeting petang ni yer" so i have no choice.

ku gagahkan jua diri ini utk membaca fail tebal ni. walaubagaimanapun, at 9.20am i failed. i felt so weak..all my bones were shaking and my joints aching. i was so dizzy and my temperature was rising. so i said to my colleague that i am bringing this file home to read it then i'll go straight to putrajaya (for that meeting, it was in putrajaya).

so i arrived home. but what i did was only lying helplessly in my bed and cover myself up with thick blanket.at the same time, i tried to read the file anyway.
at 11am. i gave up. i called my colleague, i asked her if she could find me somebody to take over this file, i really can't take it.

there was nadiah. she was my saviour. she said yes.alhamdulillah. but i felt so stupid for bringing home the file..now i have to send it back to office..alahai..

no choice!..so i drove back to office.send the file to nadiah. then i said to her, thanks very much..plis give me some of your files, i'll do it for u..she said, it's oke.

n today, when i received two of her files, my conscience is clear n i am relieved. i'll do that for you nadiah because i owe u that much.
(conscience's clear but i'm sure that in the mind of my boss, mazuin tolak kerja!)

i've been to sabah.

i only have three words to say.. sabah is beautiful.

i'm going to sabah!

i'm going to sabah tomorrow, with my darling, kanorr sama dee..!! yeyeyeyeyyyy!!

can't wait to see abby..THE BRIDE!! and lovely ck..(i think i miss her already just bcos i know that she's not in kl anymore)

feminist mode switched on

Kalo ada pegawai perempuan yang tak berani pegi court, dat doesn’t mean that other pegawai perempuan pun takot nk pegi court! Itu masing-masing la. She has her fear, I have mine too.

Jgn la sbb fear dia, sume org di assume to have the same fear. (NO OFFENCE to any pegawai perempuan in the office, seriously, I didn’t mean to offend u in any way)

Oleh sbb dia lelaki, pegawai perempuan ditolak ke tepi?? What kind of thinking is that? I normally am not a feminist, but in this sense, I AM!!! Damn u!!

Las month, same thing happen, just because i'm a lady, i'm asked to do the work..!
What’s wrong with the world??????? diskriminasi..bengong!!

(although i don't wish to go to court, but this issue is bugging me!)

budak baik dan sampah

hari ahad lepas, seperti biasa kami mahu keluar dating. wan da sampai, dia baru je keluar dari kete dia n menuju ke gate rumah aku sementara aku tgh start enjin kete nk reverse keluar rumah. Ayah masa tu tgh angkat dua plastik hitam yg berisi sampah diletakkan atas skuter yamaha ego dia. Ayah nak gi buang sampah la tu (Ayah selalu pegi buang sampah yg besa2 ke tong sampah besa kat tepi flat pkns jln kuching tu, aku kalo disuruh ikut, naek la moto ngan ayah smbil pegang smpah tu smpai la ke tong sampah besa tu).
Ceritanya bermula bila wan terus menuju ke arah ayah untuk salam ngan ayah la. Ayah nye soalan pertama kepada wan hari tu "nk tolong buang sampah ke?" then wan dgn pantasnye menjawab "bley, bley" pastu mereka terdiam, wan pandang ayah, ayah pandang wan.
lepas tu, wan offer ketenya digunakan utk mengangkut smpah2 tersebut. tapi ayah hanya tersenyum dan terus jalan ngan motonye meninggalkan wan terpinga-pinga. Masa wan terpinga-pinga tu, kete aku da keluar dari garaj dah pun dan aku tgh nk tutup gate. then wan pun masuk dalam kete and masih terpinga-pinga (comel).
so aku tanya la apa jadi tadi, maka wan pun cite la sume. then wan confuse, nape ayah senyum n terus jln. aku assume, ayah expect wan trus naek moto ngan dia utk gi buang sampah (spt apa yg slalu jadi antara aku ngan ayah) tp wan tak naek2 pun time ayah tunggu wan naek, so ayah mungkin tersenyum sebab ayah tau, wan mghadapi detik kepelikan yang teramat sgt (super awkward). wan maseh tak puas hati dgn assumption aku ni. tp topik tu berlalu begitu shj.

Smpai la mlm td (isnin mlm) aku borak2 dgn mak. Aku cite la fasal kejadian tersebut kpd mak, then mak pulak tiba2 gtau yg ayah ada mention fasal tu kt mak smlm. Mak kate ayah kate, bila dia ajak wan tolong pegi buang smpah, dia terkejut yg wan akan respon "bley, bley" dgn pantas. Ayah ckp wan budak baik sbb dia nmpak wan ikhlas nk tolong. then mak sambung, dia kan anak lelaki sulung, slalu tolong mak dia. then ayah ckp "oh patutlah..budak lelaki laen takkan la nk tolong sbb yg saya nk buang tu sampah. sampah busuk.tp saya terkejut dia cpt2 jawab boleh"
aku yg tgh dengar mak bercerita ni, terus tersenyum. panas je muka ni,..blushing kot? hihi..senang hati bile ayah dah terima wan. trus la aku kol wan lepas tu, cerita kt dia. aku yakin sgt skrg hati dia berbunga2.

today's my birthday!

it's 11th may..again!..umur makin meningkat, 24 is a big number..n it's unbearable..but it's oke, everybody's age is increasing (except for benjamin button's, of course)

las nite my darling called, he repeatedly sang the song..then when i felt that i should record his voice, i stopped him. but he knew why he was stopped, so dia tak kasik, jadi takde la record :-((( heheee

my friends have been messaging me since yesterday, some directly called, n also posting on my facebook wall, wishing me happy birthday..they remember..i'm glad. i am in my office presently, my ofismates and colleagues also wished me..

i love this feeling very much, the love, the warmth and the thoughts..

so today after work, i went to celebrate with my darling, he gave me a bouquet of flowers and a card. there is a poem stated in the card, he made it on his own. then we went to have a piece of cake at secret recepy. a cake and a candle. i asked for my present, he asked me to guess, he gave me hints. They are: electrical appliance, the size is as big as my palm..
i guessed my a** off, but to no success. then suddenly, he took out a small-pink wrapped box. it's a ring. a gold ring. he sure knows how to make me smile...
i've had a blast.;-))


.

daylight saving time

my sister is in Egypt, studying. we know for a fact that the time difference between malaysian time and egypt's is 6 hours..9pm in malaysia means 3pm in egypt. But yesterday my sister told me that now the time difference should be 5 hours only, that is 9pm in malaysia = 4pm in egypt.

Mum was puzzled. She asked me, can the egyptian change their time just like dat?? so i asked my sister about it. she said it is due to the DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME, which was introduced by the British in egypt during the world war II...she didn't explain so much because she wasn't sure either..so i google to search for DST,and obviously the rationale behind it. i found few interesting stuff which u can read here:
http://www.webexhibits.org/daylightsaving/index.html

today, approximately 70 countries utilize Daylight Saving Time in at least a portion of the country. amazing. i guess they have long found a way to adjust their life (especially economically) when night time is longer than the day time.

hero mesti sentiasa handsome.

i just watched IRON MAN 2 today with my darling in Brem Mall Kepong. the cinema was so packed. Full House!! (full house kt brem mall nye wayang?? ajaib!) we parked at 10th floor oke??

anyway.one fact about me is that i love watching movies so much...like seriously.. but iron man?? so lame..! less action..lenghty script..n the actors..none of them has the look!..so awful!!!! mybe i'm not being fair or what ever but please..there are reasons why handsome actors have more fans than ill-looking actors..and why movies with handsome actors are better sold..kan??OBVIOUSLY!!!! like pirates of carribean, johnny depp..excellent!! plus the movie itself is awesome (the effect, storyline..bla bla bla) n even a stink movie like 30 days of nights..they can sell since they cast JOSH HARTNETT..nyum nyum..hehe..get it??

n some more the heroin in that movie is OKE,, but a little yesterday, don't u think?

there are movies where they used not-so-good-looking actor/actress, but since it matches the character in the movie, then it's fine..but action movies with heroes in it??

maybe my comment is unfair n immature, but truthfully (at least for me) for action/heroistic film, please use a better looking actor!!

please someone get it right!!!

recently in SOME websites, a person has given bad comment in regards of a ministry who has allegedly given out contract/tender of "female shoes for civil servants" to a specific contractor..
the said person quoted that the ministry awarded rm27.5mil to the said contractor..few days later, he was corrected and a new figure was produced. the new figure being rm2.75mil..

sad to say that both figures are wrong!!! it should be rm275k..please someone correct it! please.. is there anyone relevant in the ministry that still care? i hope there is.

kuantan trip!

it was not a leisure trip instead it was all official..meeting kt luar mmg bess..i had fun..especially since i didn't go alone..;-P

arrived at seri malaysia kuantan around 9.20pm..rented two hotel rooms..i had a big dinner at jalan teluk sisek, there was ikan bakar with other dishes with only RM50.30 spent..ikan siakap bakar..besa nk mampus ikan tu, makan dua org je..seekor only RM30..then we went back to get some sleep bloated!



woke up as early as 5am in the morning (truth is, i didnt sleep well, i got scared sleeping alone in a hotel room even though i never switched any light off..)..then around 8am, we went for breakfast, and he helped me to come up with a few new arguments to be used in the meeting..

the meeting went well, all army personnels cooperate excellently..all documents which i asked for earlier were prepared for and be made available and ready to be observed, all relevant persons were called and my mission to establish the link was perfectly established!.. thanks people!!! nahh..see?? they can be so efficient with the help of a little inflicted force (from me! ~or officially from legal adviser of the kementerian)..meeting ended around 12.15..

went to kuantan parade..found a few kedai emas..usha cincin!! murah gile..oh tapi rupa-rupanya emas 750..ingatkan 916..then we had lunch..approximately at 2.45, we parked near the riverbank/laut..(i'm not sure what it was)..nice place..windy..


went to tanjung lumpur..beli keropok lekor..melecur lidah mkn panas2..went straight home after that..and arriving home after maghrib..exhausted but satisfied..

to obey or..?

earlier this week i had a meeting with a few army personnels about a pending case. (btw, i chaired the meeting whohooo!)..so this story is not going to be about that meeting per se but it is about one person in the meeting (whom i labelled "the army man"). he is obviously an army personnel. his personality was so improfessional since throughout the meeting he was not once took the subject matter seriously.and i think he did not take me seriously too. that was quite upsetting n annoying.

few hours after the meeting ended, i received a message on Facebook, it was from him. Gosh,,he found me on Facebook.he added me as a friend. till now i have not yet responded to his request.

i was not even considering his request, but somehow i let it hanging. my beloved husband-to-be found out about this. so he asked me to delete that army man right away since for him, the army man is a menace and a pest of some sort.
i responded by saying that i can't reject the army man just yet, since we are still going to be in another meeting soon. plus, to delete a person there would be too harsh, don't u think?

i wonder why is he making all this such a big fuss? wan sayang, jeles eh?? alaaalalala comelnyerrr!!

so?? to obey or not to obey?

.

Di Kala Emosi Tidak Tenteram..

ya Allah ya Tuhanku. Ampunilah segala dosa-dosaku, dosa kedua ibu bapa ku, dosa adik-beradik ku, dosa sahabat-sahabatku dan dosa seluruh umat muslimin dan muslimat.

ya Allah ya Tuhanku. aku memohon daripadamu. kau kurniakanlah aku ketenangan dalam kehidupan seharianku.

ya Allah ya Tuhanku. aku memohon daripadamu. kau kurniakanlah aku kesabaran dalam menghadapi ujian-ujian mu.

aku mohon ya Allah, lembutkan lah hati saudaraku untuk memaafkan aku atas apa jua kesalahanku dan kurniakanlah kepadaku sifat pemaaf atas apa jua kesalahannya sama ada yang sedar atau tidak.

ya Allah ya Tuhanku. kau jauhkanlah aku dari manusia yang suka melaga-lagakan saudara-saudaranya. kau ampunilah dosanya dan aku mohon ya Allah, kau kurniakanlah kesedaran kepadanya tentang perlakuannya yang menganiaya saudara-saudaranya yang lain.kau ampunilah dosanya ya Allah.

ya Allah ya Tuhanku. jauhkanlah aku daripada apa jua jenis fitnah. jauhkanlah ku daripada sifat amarah.
ampunilah dosaku ya Allah. amin ya rabbal alamin.